Techniques in "Eating Pussy"

Hey, I have a lot of respect for all you guys who like to eat pussy because there are too few of you out there. And I'm not the only woman who says this. Furthermore, some of you guys who are giving it the old college try are not doing too well, so maybe this little lesson will help you out. When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she's found a treasure she's not going to let go of too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She won't even tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular man in town. So, remember, most guys can fuck, and those who can usually do it satisfactorily, but the guy who gives good head, he's got it made.

Most women are shy about their bodies. Even if you've got the world's most gorgeous woman in bed with you, she's going to worry about how you like her body. Tell her it's beautiful, tell her which parts you like best, tell her anything, but get her to trust you enough to let you down between her legs.

Now stop and look at what you see. Beautiful, isn't it? There is nothing that makes a woman more unique than her pussy. I know. I've seen plenty of them. They come in all different sizes, colors and shapes; some are tucked inside like a little girl's cunnie and some have thick luscious lips that come out to greet you. Some are nested in brushes of fur and others are covered with transparent fuzz.

Appreciate your woman's unique qualities and tell her what makes her special. Women are a good deal more verbal than men, especially during love-making. They also respond more to verbal love, which means, the more you talk to her, the easier it will be to get her off. So all the time you're petting and stroking her beautiful pussy, talk to her about it. Now look at it again. Gently pull the lips apart and look at her inner lips, even lick them if you want to. Now spread the tops of her pussy up until you can find her clit.

Women have clits in all different sizes, just like you guys have different sized cocks. It doesn't mean a thing as far as her capacity for orgasm. All it means is more of her is hidden underneath her foreskin. Whenever you touch a woman's pussy, make sure your finger is wet. You can lick it or moisten it with juices from inside her. Be sure, by all means, to wet it before you touch her clit because it doesn't have any juices of it's own and it's extremely sensitive.

 Your finger will stick to it if it's dry and that hurts. But you don't want to touch her clit anyway. You have to work up to that. Before she becomes aroused, her clit is too delicate to be handled.

Approach her pussy slowly. Women, even more so than men, love to be teased. The inner part of her thigh is her most tender spot. Lick it, kiss it, make designs on it with the tip of your tongue. Come dangerously close to her pussy, then float away. Make her anticipate it.

 Now lick the crease where her leg joins her pussy. Nuzzle your face into her bush. Brush your lips over her slit without pressing down on it to further excite her. After you've done this to the point where your lady is bucking up from her seat and she's straining to get more of you closer to her, then put your lips right on top of her slit.

Kiss her, gently, then harder. Now use your tongue to separate her pussy lips and when she opens up, run your tongue up and down between the layers of pussy flesh. Gently spread her legs more with your hands. Everything you do with a woman you're about to eat must be done gently. Tongue-fuck her.

 This feels devine. It also teases the hell out of her because by now she wants some attention given to her clit. Check it out. See if her clit has gotten hard enough to peek out of its covering. If so, lick it. If you can't see it, it might still be waiting for you underneath. So bring your tongue up to the top of her slit and feel for her clit. You may barely experience it's presence. But even if you can't feel the tiny pearl, you can make it rise by licking the skin that covers it. Lick hard now and press into her skin.

Gently pull the pussy lips away and flick your tongue against the clit, hood covered or not. Do this quickly. This should cause her legs to shudder. When you sense she's getting up there toward orgasm, make your lips into an O and take the clit into your mouth. Start to suck gently and watch your lady's face for her reaction. If she can handle it, begin to suck harder. If she digs it, suck even harder.

 Go with her. If she lifts her pelvis into the air with the tension of her rising orgasm, move with her, don't fight her. Hang on, and keep your hot mouth on her clit. Don't let go. That's what she'll be saying too: 'Don't stop. Don't ever stop!' There's a reason for that, most men stop too soon. Just like with cock sucking, this is something worth learning about and worth learning to do well. I know a man who's a lousy fuck, simply lousy, but he can eat pussy like nobody I know and he never has trouble getting a date. Girls are falling all over him.

But back to your pussy eating session... There's another thing you can do to intensify your woman's pleasure. You can finger-fuck her while she's enjoying your clit-licking talents. Before, during or after. She'll really like it. In addition to the erogenous zones surrounding her clit, a woman has another extremely sensitive area at the roof of her vagina. This is what you rub up against when you're fucking her. Well, since your cock is pretty far away from your mouth, your fingers will have to do the fucking. Take two fingers. One is too skinny and three is too wide and therefore can't get deep enough. Make sure they're wet so you don't irritate her skin. Slide them inside, slowly at first, then a little faster.

Fuck her with them rhythmically. Speed up only when she does. Listen to her breathing. She'll let you know what to do. If you're sucking her clit and finger-fucking her at the same time, you're giving her far more stimulation than you would be giving her with your cock alone. So you can count on it that she's getting high on this. If there's any doubt, check her out for symptoms. 

Each woman is unique. You may have one who's nipples get hard when she's excited or only when she's having an orgasm. Your girl might flush red or begin to tremble. Get to know her symptoms and you'll be a more sensitive lover. When she starts to have an orgasm, for heaven's sakes, don't let go of that clit. 

Hang in there for the duration. When she starts to come down from the first orgasm, press your tongue along the underside of the clit, leaving your lips covering the top. Move your tongue in and out of her cunt. If your fingers are inside, move them a little too, gently though, things are extremely sensitive just now. If you play your cards right, you'll get some multiple orgasms this way.

A woman stays excited for a full hour after she's had an orgasm. Do you realize the full impact of that information? The potential? One woman was clocked at 56 orgasms at one sitting. Do you know what effect you would have on a woman you gave 56 orgasms to? She'd be yours as long as you wanted her. The last advice I have for you is this: After you've made her come, made her your slave by giving her the best head she's ever had, don't leave her alone just yet. Talk to her, stroke her body, caress her breasts. Keep making love to her quietly until she's come all the way down. 

A man can get off and go to sleep in the same breath and feel no remorse, no sense of loss. But a woman by nature requires some sensitivity from her lover in those first few moments after sex. Oral sex can be the most exciting sexual experiences you can have. But it's what you make it. Take your time, practice often, pay attention to your lover's signals, and most of all, enjoy yourself

The Biological Basis of Tantric Sex

Introductory note:

 

 This essay began as a private posting to a man who said he wanted
some straight instructions on tantra. He was not religious and

was not interested in Hinduism, so he worried that tantra might require
him to convert to some religion or other. He also wanted to know if
studying tantra meant that he would have to "suppress" his orgasms, which
he said did not sound like fun. He said that he had been trying to
"suppress" his orgasms and wasn't having much success.

I am posting this material here because i have seen a number of requests
for information on tantra in this newsgroup. The following comprises all
the basic advice on tantric techniques i was given or can pass along. I am
not a teacher of the subject. For what it's worth, here is my story:

I am a 47 year old woman who first read about tantric sex in 1962. It was
not until 1975 that i met someone who wanted to try it. He had read about
it, too; neither of us had a teacher. It worked for us! That's all i can
say. It worked! It didn't make us life-partners and it didn't turn either
of us into swinging singles, either. We did not join a religious cult. It
did take us to spiritual vistas of sexual beauty and unity.

In 1977 a long-time friend of mine told me he wanted to try it with me. We
had never made love before, so we discussed the subject for about half an
hour and then we did it. Again, a spiritual experience was found to grow
>from this humblest of biological acts. Although this man and i have rarely
seen each other since and i have not (yet) found another man who would try
it with me, that experience changed my life, for i knew then that all of
the religious mumbo-jumbo i had read about tantra was just a bunch of
socio-cultural veneer laid over a basic biological-spiritual truth. 

What that truth is has been obliquely approached by research John C. Lilly
did on monkeys in the 1950s (before he got into dolphin brain research).
As documented in his book, "The Center of the Cyclone," he found that
there are four points in the mid-brain, arranged in a row, that control
the sexual response of (male) monkeys. He used males because their sexual
responses (tumescence, ejaculation, etc.) were easier to see and thus to
quantify than the responses of female monkeys -- but the mechanism is the
same in both sexes.

The first neural point in the series regulated arousal (erection). The
second point regulated muscular contraction (ejaculation). The third point
regulated the orgasm itself (sensation of sexual culmination). The fourth
point he called the "master switch," for when it was stimulated, it
entrained the three previously-mentioned centers, causing the monkey to
experience erection, ejaculation, and orgasm in the usual predictable
order.

The discovery of these four neural points in the brain indicates that
through conscious and learned control, one can separate orgasm, or
erection, or ejaculation from the other responses.

We all have experienced this disassociation of the entrainment center at
one time or another (not always under our conscious volition) as when, for
instance, we achieve tumescence but not orgasm, or have an 'involuntary"
ejaculation, or have an "unsatisfying" orgasm in which the contractions
are truncated in duration. What tantra teaches is how to control these
things so that one can experience orgasm without contraction, thus
prolonging it beyond the biologically-regulated constraint imposed by the
amount of time it takes to complete the 8-25 contractions you would
normally have.

So -- in strictly biological terms -- the practice of tantra becomes
somewhat akin to the practice of biofeedback training. It is sort of like
learning to wiggle your ears -- it's something you have to work at,
because the volitional control of the musculature involved is not part of
our usual training in life.

Where does the experience of spirituality come from? That, i have come to
believe, is part of our neurological hard-wiring. Human beings seem to be
naturally equipped to experience the metaphysical world. Many ages-old
techniques for perceiving the realm of spirit make use of repetition (of
hymns, prayers, chants, dances) while engaging in single-minded
attentiveness to cosmic forces. Tantra provides both repetition and
attentiveness. It is not the only way to achieve spiritual bliss, as its
religious practitioners assert, but it is one way, and that is good enough
for me.

Okay; first thing, you have to notice what your orgasm reflex is. Just
observe it a few times (ten or more times) and pay attention to how it
works. (You might want to do this while masturbating, as it could prove
distracting to a partner.) Especially, notice that there is a brief
moment at the onset of orgasm when you are consciously aware that it is
about to occur but it has not yet become inevitable. That's where you will
later spend your time.

In the typical orgasm (both male and female) there are 8 to 25 muscular
contractions (women may have more than men; how many you have will vary at
times). Get to know how many contractions you experience. (For instance,
my usual number is 18-20; it's never fewer, but sometimes more, and that
has not changed in 30 years).

Now, rather than "suppressing" an orgasm, try to let one or two
contractions happen and then relax. If you can learn to let one or two
waves of orgasmic contractions occur and then relax (by breathing and
being attentive, NOT by trying to think of something else to "distract"
yourself), then you can learn to repeat this over and over again. Imagine
yourself at the edge of a breaking wave of pleasure, not plunging over the
edge.

You can practice this with a partner or while masturbating. It's easier
with a partner, because he or she can hold you at the wave-edge, gently
changing position and thus slowing you from going into the stage of
involuntary pelvic thrusts you have been trying to "suppress." 

While you are learning to ride the wave-edge, take turns with your
partner. As one of you rides the wave of bliss, the other acts as a
"lookout," keeping the wave-rider from falling into the undertow of
orgasm-when the wave-rider reaches saturation and relaxes, you trade
roles. During the course of one sexual encounter, you may trade roles
often. You may also rest (in a semi-detumescent state), and begin again
later if you like. When you and your partner become attuned to one
another, you will no longer think about who is riding the edge and who is
guiding; the roles will blend and mesh and you will both simply "be"
there. That is basically the "secret teaching" of tantra.

Sometimes, while learning these techniques, the lookout partner becomes
suffused with a feeling of personal power, knowing that he or she can
cause the wave-riding partner to have an orgasm, simply by making a slight
gesture at the point when the wave-rider is letting go and relaxing. This
experience of power should not be devalued. It is profoundly moving to
realize that someone has given his or her sexuality into your control and
it is a pleasure of high magnitude to watch the process of your partner's
orgasm unfold -- but once you understand your power in the situation,
don't force your partner over the edge, for mistrust may develop, and the
partner who is continually forced into orgasm may lose the fine
proprioceptive senses he or she should be developing. Occasionally, when
one partner is sexually needy (for instance, a woman during the ovulation
portion of her menstrual cycle), the gift of release into orgasm may be
offered and accepted, but be prepared for the offer to be refused, too.
Remember, at all times your goal should be to share equally in the
experience, not to second-guess what you think your partner wants.

One recommended minimum length of time to spend exchanging off-and-on
waves between partners is twenty minutes. It is believed by many who have
practiced and studied this, including myself, that although less than
forty minutes will be pleasant, it will not produce the sought-after
spiritual experience. Remember, this time is shared between the two of
you; typically, that does not even mean exactly ten minutes each at the
edge-point, for it may take you a few seconds or a minute to get back to
that place of wave-riding after you have had your turn being the lookout
for your partner. As your experience increases, you may find that you can
switch from lookout to wave-rider in less than a handful of seconds; when
that happens, you have only to be careful that you do not become
over-confident and "forget" to relax when your training tells you it is
time to relax.

If, by reason of forgetfulness or over-excitement, either partner is drawn
inexorably into orgasm, neither party should be alarmed, angry, or
distressed. For one thing, if you have been very close to the edge for a
long time and you see your partner slipping over, it's a simple matter to
dive in and join the orgasmic experience. Or, if you prefer, you can
watch, content in viewing from the vantage point of calm contemplation. It
has been my experience that when one partner "fails" to maintain the
wave-riding technique, he or she usually half-apologizes and is forgiven
with tender kisses; there is no sense of disappointment or resentment,
because both partners know that the supply of pleasure is not meted out
stingily and that balance will be restored in due time.

If you get good at these techniques and enjoy them, you may find that you
will have achieved the "satisfaction" of an orgasm (that is, your sex
drive will be temporarily sated) after twenty or thirty minutes and you
will not necessarily want an orgasm. On the other hand, you may find that
the moment you both decide you are sated and that neither of you wants an
orgasm, you both do, RIGHT NOW, and you may finish the sex act rather
tumultuously.

In non-religious tantra there is no premium placed on avoidance of the
orgasm -- that is, there is no theorizing about a man's kundalini energy
shooting up from his testicles into his brain and being sucked back down
and "wasted" if he ejaculates -- so choosing to have or not have orgasms
may depend on your personalities, the time of month (for a woman), how the
two of you feel about the benefits of "pure" (non-orgasmic) tantra, and
how much each of you enjoy the sheer physical workout of the push toward
orgasm.

Now, here's the great part: these techniques are not simply a recipe for
great sex. Believe it now or not, you WILL have spiritual feelings while
doing this. It is these spiritual feelings that have formed the basis for
several sexually-oriented religions and magic cults.

Traditional tantric practices -- eating the five sacred foods, raising
kundalini energy through your chakras, seeing the blue light, and so forth
-- are of use to you only insofar as you accept the allegorical,
religious, alchemical, or symbolic premises that underlie them.

If you perceive the heart-chakra as nothing more than the location of a
muscle-pump, it would be meaningless for you to visualize kundalini energy
in your heart. But something will happen in your heart, nonetheless, and
you will find a name for it.

If you think that the god Shiva and the goddess Durga are remote and
obscure from your daily experience or cultural conditioning, it would be a
waste of your time to learn their names or their iconographic and gestural
attributes. But nameless or named, sitting lotus-fashion or not, you and
your partner will enter a realm of divinity, so be prepared, for tantra
will take you there.

To allow spiritual feelings to evolve without embedding them in a
religious context, try looking into your partner's eyes, thinking about
the universality of sexual congress among all species, and then extending
your awareness out beyond the pair of you to the world and to the cosmos.
You may find yourself in what is called by some "the magnetic ocean," a
sensation that you are partaking of a universal, ongoing sexual experience
that is life itself. If you have no partner, the best way to do these
things is to "invoke" a partner. In Thibetan tantric practice this
imaginary lover is called a tulpa. Do not imagine that your tulpa is doing
whatever it is that you consider "hot" or "sexy;" imagine that your tulpa
and you are doing what i described above.

If you are in a committed relationship and become interested in tantra,
you should be cautious in bringing the subject up with your partner. Your
partner may take your interest as evidence that you are disinterested in
"normal" sex or may feel you are disparaging his or her sexuality as not
"good enough" for you. Your partner may think it is "unromantic" to
discuss biologically-based spirituality or that sexual activity requiring
a bit of practice is less "spontaneous" than untutored sexual activity. Be
prepared to deal with these concerns patiently.  

I am willing to answer short questions by e-mail but prefer to do so
within the newsgroup. I am neither embarrassed by the subject matter nor
am i in search of virtual sex.

The Art of Male Masturbation (From a sex therapist)

The Art of Male Masturbation (From a sex therapist)

     Three techniques for Teenager's to Octogenarians. Plus a little about menopausal women and their men.

OVERVIEW:

                        Any male reading the above title would initially think, "what a stupid subject, it doesn't take a

  manual to know how to masturbate." They would be correct in that assumption of course. But it takes time and experience to receive the full joys of self manipulation.

As an example, The average boy when first discovering this new-found past time, will jerk-off many times each day. Just the feeling of release is enough to satisfy his needs. This state goes on for many years. But as the boy growsinto a man and begins to have sexual relations with other human beings, the tendency is to search for technique and quality of experience rather than just 'getting off'.

 The following are three of the most popular ways that men masturbate. Read these techniques carefully, they can be used in combinations that will give much pleasure for years to come.

                                 ------------ PREPARATION: ------------

    It is suggested as a preparation for masturbation, that the participant obtain external stimuli (ES). The most
  popular form of (ES) is written pornography. The advan- tage to (ES) material is that when reading about sexual situations your masturbitory experience is heightened ten-fold. There are many good authors erotic stories. They can be readily obtained on the internet, or at any adult orientated store. (you must be at least 18 years old to legally obtain these materials) .

 Before going into manual techniques, let me say a couple of things about preparation. Take your time. To receive full enjoyment from your experience find a time and place where you can masturbate without fear of interruption.
 Also have the materials easily at hand for clean-up afterwards. This may sound obvious to everyone, but I mention it, only because you need to remove any outside worry's. To fully enjoy your coming orgasm, it is best to turn your thoughts inward, with as little external stimuli as possible.

 Lay completely unclothed on your bed. Begin to read an erotic story. Do not touch yourself until you feel the first drop of pre-cum drip onto your skin. (This is important as preparation to technique One especially) At that time you are full prepared to begin your manual manipulation.

                             ------------------- TECHNIQUES: -------------------

 ONE: (Slip N' Slide) (SNS) Once your pre-cum has begun to flow, (Without manual manipulation) The male should begin to slowly spread his semen over his erect penis with thumb and fingers. Taking the penis loosely between his fingers and thumb as if writing a letter. Let the head of the penis gently rub against your the valley between thumb and fore-finger. The combination between the slickness of the distributed pre-come, and the erotic story you are reading will give the closest experience to sex with a woman as possible.

 Again, in this technique it is important not to hurry. If the male performs the (SNS) technique correctly, the orgasm should 'sneak' up on him. There should be the thought in the back of the man's mind that is something like, "Wow,  I'm going to come any second, and I could- n't stop from doing so, no matter how hard I tried." The male should slow his manipulation down at this time, and let the sensation build slowly. He should have a very slick erection fingers rubbing his shaft effortlessly.

NOTE: 

To increase the intensity of a (SNS) orgasm, just when the male begins to ejaculate, he should raise his legs  from the waist, while continuing to lay flat on his back. Legs should be either just a few inches off the bed, or
pointing toward the ceiling. (Each male will find his preferred position) The added strain of the stomach muscles will greatly intensify the orgasmic spasms.

 TWO:

 (Stand N' JerK) When a man stands while masturbating his cardiovascular system is at a heightened level.

 This will change the overall intense feeling of his experience.Reading erotica or visual stimuli is still recommended for this style. The best place to perform Stand N' Jerk (SNJ) is in the participants bathroom. The advantages are obvious, privacy, mirrors, and easy clean up.

The average male should begin the (SNJ) technique by viewing pictures or reading erotic stories. (Of course it's not necessary, but it will heighten the orgasm) The same suggestions apply as to position and style of 'hand manipulation' as described in technique ONE. As the male reaches his orgasmic state, (if he performed his masturbation as out lined) will feel a tightness in his legs, most markedly in the thighs. Just as the participant's orgasm is almost upon him, he should stop manual manipulation, but continue to hold his erect penis. (The right moment for this is just as he feels the spasms being forced from the prostate gland.)

  If the participant did every step correctly, he should, at the final moment before ejaculation, see clear sea- man spurt out. The feeling at this moment should be extremely pleasurable. This is called 'Pre-Orgasm'. After several spurts of clear semen, the full orgasm should begin. At this point the 'milky' semen will begin to spurt, bringing on another even more powerful set of orgasmic spasms. The (SNJ) technique, if per- formed correctly, will give the participant a 'double' orgasm, lasting twice as long as normal manipulation would allow.

  THREE: 

(Chinese Position) 

Called "Chinese position" only because in the 19th century when this position first became popular in opium dens in England, the participant's would say, "Giving a little life to China." This may sound rather obscure, but let me explain. The Chinese Position is basically where the man lays on his stomach while masturbating. This position takes a little imagination on the man's part, because he must find the props to allow him  to lay face down and still be able to 'jerk-off'. In the nineteenth century men who visited the opium dens had a choice, they could have a privet pallet to enjoy a little solo action, and when they came their sperm would shoot toward 'China - the other side of the world' hence the name 'Chinese Po- sition". They also had the option of having a Chinese woman under their specially constructed pallet, who would give them oral stimulation. (Another and more meaningful reason to call it the "Chinese Position")

  The best way to situate ones self in this position has been to use a couple of chairs, or if twin beds are available (such as in a motel room) to move them close enough together to allow the man to lay over the 'crack'. The hand should act as a vagina (held steady while the male performs humping motions)

 The advantage to this position is that the male can 'hump' and more closely imitate actual sex with a woman. Also, (after placing a towel on the floor) he can reach orgasm and release without having to worry about aim or clean up.
 This position gives the male a since of freedom of release, very similar to that of the orgasmic release he gets with a woman.

 There are another 234 known techniques and positions for male masturbation, but the ones outlined here are by far the most popular among men worldwide. It is a normal progression for men as they grow older to take longer to reach orgasm. The reason for this is both physiological and psychological. On the one hand as the body mature semen production slackens, also the male organ, although just as sensitive at in the teenage years, responds differently to external stimuli. And psychologically, a desensitizing effect takes place with experience. Anything, even sex can become routine.

    The average American couple at age 25 will have sex 300 times a year. At 45 this same couple will only be experiencing sexual relations 75 times a year. During the initial menopausal years for the wife (50-55) the sexual contact can drop to as low as 12 times a year. During this time masturbation becomes important to males in this category. The typical male even at 60, needs regular sexual release. It is one of the best cardiovascular exercise available. (recent tests show that males who have at least two orgasms a week live 30% longer that males who don't)

  A ray of hope for those men experiencing the menopausal stage. It usually only lasts during transitional stages.The post menopausal woman can have a more forceful and inventive sex drive than she did in her 20's. Be patient, and keep in mind that, 'all good things come to those willing to wait'. 

---------------- FEMALE MENOPAUSE ----------------

 "Good Sex". Anything worth doing takes effort. The same thing applies to a good sex life. Don't treat your partner as if she's a vestal virgin. Share your feelings, wants, and needs with her. If you are reading sexy stories to masturbate to, bring your woman into it with you. You just might be surprised at her posi- tive reaction. (You will know how fast to do this, some women will not respond, but most will surprise you.) A suggestion. If your sex life is non-existent, try wear- ing nothing to bed. And when you wake up with that erection in the morning, bring your partners hand to it. Get her used to touching it, try to make it a morning tradition. If she loves you, she'll start doing it more and more, you just have to get her used to the idea. This is a good way to get her thinking about sex during the day. Another suggestion, whenever the mood strikes (and you have an erection) and when it seems right, expose it. Let her see you erect. A good time is at night, when you are going to bed. She's brushed her teeth and is laying in bed while you're in the bathroom. Get hard, then walk to your side of the bed sporting your lust for her to  see. At the very least you'll get a comment, and at the very best you'll get sex. Remember, you are the one that(during this period in her life) who must be the instigator.

 One last note: Give her an orgasm. That will do the most to get her 'back in the saddle' again. Let her be on top, so she can control her own manipulations.

Advanced Fellatio Techniques And Secrets

Advanced Fellatio Techniques and Secrets
FAQ/Information

When I published Advanced Cunnilingus Techniques and Secrets, I included a
comment about perhaps doing a fellatio counterpart. Well, I've gotten quite a
few requests, and demands, that follow through, especially with the How to
Swallow without it Tasting Bad part. So, OK, here it is...
On the other hand, it was the number of unsolicited questions on the subject
that caused me to write Advanced Anal Sex Techniques, for those of you who want
to know about that subject.
There are two ways one could become expert enough at fellatio to write this
page: By being really good at it, or by having been subjected to the attentions
of people who were even better at it. Consider me the latter.
As I've said before, the best part of sex is giving pleasure to your partner.
But #2 on my personal list, behind going down on my lover, is being gone down
upon myself. And I've had a couple of partners who were mind-blowingly good at
this. I made a point of learning what it is they did, and how, as well as having
simply learned what felt best on me.

Basic Guidelines

First, everything here is a generalization. "Most guys" means most guys, not all
guys. With that in mind...

  Most guys are very different than women, when it comes to what they enjoy.
  With women, starting out very slowly is more important. With guys, there is a
  much better chance that the guy will be impatient, and there is most
  definitely a lower overall standard as to what most guys will enjoy.
  When starting out, the best bet is to start slowly, and indirectly. Men tend
  to be more visual than women, stereotypically, so part of taking your time
  would include almost touching...kissing around the rest of his body (depending
  on what's accessible under the circumstances), caressing, but not necessarily
  actually touching his erotic zones, yet.
  When doing this, remember the "many guys get impatient" rule. The longer you
  can drag out each step (while still making progress), the better, but some
  guys don't want much of this at all, and if you pay attention it should become
  obvious.

  Unfortunately, another general difference is that guys are less expressive.
  This is a shame, because it keeps them from enjoying it as much, as well as
  making it harder for you to tell what works with them. I cases like that,
  talking about them perhaps being more expressive, especially by telling them
  it excites you (hopefully this is true), is the best bet...but only if your
  relationship (or their personality) is secure enough to allow it.
  The other day, on Don & Mike (radio gods), a woman caller bragged that her
  nickname was "eight seconds", meaning the time it took her to bring a guy to
  orgasm from fellatio. While a sizable portion of guys do actually like that,
  it is not the way to give the best orgasm. In fact, it's the worst way.
  Remember that some guys do prefer it, though.
  See, the longer a guy is "tortured" (as one of the best fellatio artists I
  know puts it), the stronger his orgasm will be. "Tortured" means "kept
  sexually excited, and stimulated, but not actually allowed to have an orgasm".

  DO NOT be afraid to use your hands. If he's not one of those get-it-over-quick
  (GIOQ) types, there are many things you simply cannot do with your mouth, but
  can with your hands. Specific techniques in the advanced section.
  Even among eroginous zones, don't stick only to the penis. Some guys have more
  sensitive nipples than most women, for example (I'm one of those guys, in
  fact).
    The scrotum/gonads (I mostly use technical terms, just to keep things
    consistent...I can write great erotic literature, but that's not what this
    article's about) are also essential, if he's not a GIOQ type.

    The cheeks of the butt, on both men and women, actually have some automatic
    sexual response linked to them, especially from repeated pressure. This is
    because our distant ancestors often had sex "doggy style", and so a patting
    sensation on the butt was a good standard signal for hormones to start
    moving. Guys have it too, for the same reason they have nipples. A good butt
    massage, or perhaps gently rhythmic pressure, can really get some guys
    going.

    The anus should be carefully mentioned here. I say carefully because, of
    course, a lot of guys feel uncomfortable with attention to it. But it is an
    erotic zone, especially because it includes the prostate gland. But more,
    again, in the advanced section.

  Once he can't take it any more, or you can't, the question of spitting versus
  swallowing comes up. Some people, in an attempt to not offend or upset, claim
  that it's not really a big deal. But it is, overall. Of course plenty of guys
  really don't care, or don't even like their lover swallowing, while even more
  haven't had the chance to find out the difference. But for most guys
  swallowing makes a (positive) difference. This isn't just because it feels
  better, or more intimate. It's also, perhaps even mainly, because spitting, or
  evading the ejaculation altogether, brings on (even if they consciously know
  it's not the case) a sense of rejection (conscious or subconscious). For a
  woman, imagine a guy starting to go down on you and then making sputtering
  noises and wiping your juices frantically from his tongue and lips. You might
  find it a bit disappointing, if not just plain hurtful, wouldn't you. If
  you're a guy reading this, then you don't need an example, you've probably had
  it done to you. But most guys are used to lovers not swallowing, so I only
  bring this up so we've made clear which way's more likely to work "best".
  Don't forget that, though guys have a different kind of insecurity than women,
  they do have frail egos...they just hide it more. So excited smiles/faces and
  noises can, with some guys, make a big difference in how much they enjoy it.
  Condoms This is your call. The odds of the blow-ee catching HIV/AIDS from the
  blow-er are probably about the same as if you were shaking hands. The odds of
  the person sucking/swallowing catching it are way less than the odds of
  transmitting HIV/AIDS by coitus, and astronimically less than catching it from
  anal sex, which makes up probably more instances of transmission than all
  other forms of transmission combined. In fact, there is little evidence at all
  of HIV/AIDS being transmitted to someone who was performing fellatio, aside
  from a few people who had a form of gum disease that resulted in a lot of open
  cuts in their mouth. Oh, it's worth note that you get tiny cuts in your mouth
  when you brush your teeth, though they heal in minutes, so you might want to
  avoid brushing right before fellatio. Try chewing gum instead, I guess. Heh.

Advanced Techniques

Swallowing (without it tasting really bad)

This is possible. In fact, only a mental barrier stands between those who
"can't" and those who can. But you have to know the technique. Oh, I should
point out that a large minority of people enjoy the taste, either for the flavor
or because bringing that kind of pleasure to their lover is so wonderful.
But a larger number think it can taste pretty bad. This depends a lot on the guy
himself (each guy tastes different, some very much so), and also on what they
eat (rumor has it that fruit makes it taste better, and fatty foods make it
taste worse, as do some spices).

The trick is to not taste it at all. This sounds too simple to be true, but:
When a guy starts to cum, the typical response is to try to pace it a bit... to
hold it in one's mouth for a moment before swallowing. This is the only reason
one tastes it.

Instead, just start swallowing, immediately and hard. If you can get te tip into
the back of your mouth without having a gag reflect problem (more on that
later), the ejaculation will go completely down your throat without you tasting
it at all. All that's left is a vague aftertaste, and even that is much weaker
than if you had allowed it to stay in your mouth. This technique fast-swallowing
actually feels better, to a lot of guys, than if you had paced it normally.

Deep Throating (overcoming the gag reflex)

A penis in the back of one's mouth sometimes makes them "gag". So does a finger,
or a banana, actually.
I put quotes around "gag" because it's sorta an illusion. The "trick" to not
"gagging" is to not interrupt the reflex. What, technically, is happening is
that your body is trying to swallow, and a finger, penis, or banana doesn't
cooperate. Some people can learn to just resist/ignore the reflex, but even
better is to turn it into a real swallow. I believe (don't try it at home)
that's how sword swallowers do it. Certainly it's how "deep throat" technique
people do it. It's really just that simple. When you would have felt like
gagging, you swallow. I, personally, have confirmed this with a banana, and a
finger.

This isn't just for swallowing (which it helps). It can feel very, very good for
fellatio overall.

Texture (don't just keep repeating a single motion)

But don't forget texture. OK, the largest minority of guys doesn't care at all
about variety (in a single session), he just wants rhythmic pumping. But in that
case most of these techniques are wasted on him, anyway. But the rest of guys, a
majority, are in various categories of liking at least some change at some point
during a specific fellatio session. I should bring up the texture thing at the
end of every section, but to save time and space I'll just hope you remember
this paragraph. Switch from one technique to another every so often during a
session, if he seems to respond well to that. Try to make the change smooth and
natural, don't just stop one thing and start another. And we're not talking
about switching every few seconds...more like every few minutes, maybe even
longer.

Various Other Oral Techniques

  Sucking really hard

  Some guys hate this, but some are amazed at how good it feels. This is
  especially good as a "texture" (variety) change during a blowjob. This doesn't
  just mean sucking at one constant pressure...to really amaze him, try sucking
  hard just on the out-stroke, or just on the in-stroke (a more subtle effect),
  or actually pausing any motion while doing it.

  Licking

  You may think this is obvious, but it's not, really. Especially since many
  guys seem to just expect a rhythmic head-bobbing sorta suck-fest. But licking
  is another technique that can be surprisingly effective. Especially at two
  points - Early on, before you've actually touched his penis and are (in
  theory) exciting him by working up to it. Licking is a great way to make first
  contact. The other time is when you've prolonged things until he's so hard and
  excited that breathing on him seems to get him close. Trace the lines and
  textures of his head (glans), down the ridge of his shaft (the side away from
  his belly/abdomen, more on that later), his balls (more on that later), and
  even the exact point where the inside of his thigh meets the skin of his
  scrotum, on each side. That last spot almost deserves its own section, because
  it can be very effective. Especially, again, early on before you've focused on
  his penis, or after he's really, really close. That area can also be sucked
  on, at other times...in some men this is very stimulating.

  Giving him the shaft

  The line down the shaft of his penis, on the side opposite where his penis
  would touch his abdomen if pressed against it, is one of the best-kept
  secrets. This is because its effect isn't obvious at first. But firm, rhythmic
  stimulation at some point along the line down his penis on that side (where
  exactly it is depends on the person) can have a startling, strong effect.
  Depending on the situation, this can be done with fingers, the tongue, or firm
  sucking (just on that area).

  Having a ball

  This varies so much from guy to guy that it's kinda hard to nail down. Some
  guys are almost indifferent to their balls/scrotum being given attention, or
  are even uncomfortable with it...but more find it at least a nice change, some
  find it fantastic. Various techniques include sucking a whole "ball" into
  one's mouth, and gently fondling it with the tongue, while it's there. This
  can't be done for very long without becoming uncomfortable, though. Or licking
  about firmly at them when not in the mouth, or to suck at the skin itself.

  I don't think I'll go much into analingus/anal sex. That would probably
  require a whole separate article. (OK, I got enough questions about it that I
  decided to write an article on it: Advanced Anal Sex Techniques) Suffice it to
  say that a minority of people find this very stimulating, and technically it
  should be, considering the proximity to vaginal sexual nerves (women) and the
  prostate(men)...but most people are little (or more) uncomfortable with it,
  performing or receiving.

  But, nearby, one has the base of the scrotum, going in a line toward the anus.
  There is a spot along there which can be licked, or better yet gently pushed
  with a finger in a rhythmic fashion, that stimulates the prostate. This allows
  one to avoid the whole butt thing, if they're uncomfortable with it, and still
  get a little of the almost magical effect that stimulating the prostate can
  have. This may need to be something done rhythmically for more than a little
  while, with the penis being stimulated at the same time, to really work well.
  Gentle, but firm.

Hands

A lot of the best techniques involve hands. If you or he insists on sticking to
purely oral, then a lot of amazing stuff is missed.
First, there's obviously caressing. This can be done all over the body, and not
just during the initial build-up phase. This is also a great thing to do during
pauses, when prolonging things when he's too close to orgasm too soon.

  The Cock Pull

  One really effective trick for direct attention to the penis is to use both
  hands, but only in one direction. Saliva may be enough for this, depending on
  the situation...but some additional lubricant, preferably oil-based, may be
  necessary. Starting at the base, slide a hand up toward the tip, placing the
  other hand by the base. Just before it comes off of the tip, start the other
  hand moving up from the base toward the tip. While doing that, put the other
  hand down on the base. Keep this up, slowly getting faster. This works great
  with a really hard penis (and it's so different/stimulating that he'll
  probably have to look (or ask, if it's dark) to see what's going on)...but
  it's also a great trick for someone who's not erect yet (or even having
  trouble with it). This, obviously, is the one sure way to have a pumping-type
  stimulation whether hard or not. It's my understanding that this works
  miracles on some people who, say, are using blood pressure medication or have
  some other erectile problem. The opposite works, too, though only with an
  erect penis. I mean starting on the top and sliding down to the base, starting
  the other hand on the tip before the first finishes, et cetera, back and
  forth.

  The Drum

  If you want to really amaze him, and have him trying to find out what you're
  doing, try this - gently wrap a thumb and index finger around his nuts, to
  pull them (again, gently) away from his body slightly, until you have a slight
  sort of surface tension on the "end" (spot farthest from his body), a bit like
  a bulging drum. Then gently (OK, with a very few people it can be more
  forceful, but work your way up to it) run your tongue in a circle around that
  "end" area. If one right (and it's hard to get just right), it creates a
  really amazing sensation. This won't get most people to orgasm, but it does
  feel really good. With a few people you can even use your fingertip. Or
  fingernail, though to me that feels a bit too much like a knife.

Hands are also a good backup plan for when your mouth tires. The best tactic is
make switching back and forth a normal part of your technique, so it's not
obvious if/when you do need to take a rest break for your mouth.

OK, there's a ton more I could write...but hey, there's also a lot I didn't
include in Advanced Cunnilingus Techniques. I'll probably get back and spruce
both of them up, eventually.

40 MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN

1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her
feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting
out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of
foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference
between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to
extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which your rake
repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side
to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they
get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're
trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly
sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your
tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy, isn't.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like
you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the
whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and
West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which
you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown
Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled
fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take
the damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along
side of the clitoris.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they
plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there,keep
going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist
with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present,
not a kid's toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still
believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there
than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in
principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt so don't get carried away. It's
best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior ofher vagina at first,
then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in
the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move
toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of
buttons.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks first.

18) GOING TOO FAST.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can
do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an
assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up
slowly,with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19) GOING TOO HARD.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach,
the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few
seconds.

20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites
of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the
mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At
least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold
her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you
really don't know, don't ask.

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth
down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her
clitoris.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it
will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this.It's about
three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use
her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it.When she's
performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do
what's necessary.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie
there. And don't grab her head.

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them.
In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does
all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much
like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputatio n for not being able to follow directions. If you
want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

30) TAKING PICTURES.
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words
"__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring
honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all
handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a
Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual
partner
with snapped hamstrings.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they
have a prostate. Women don't.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the
neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty
scarves for weeks on end
.
36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big
turn-on.

37) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line.
If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying unt il you get it right, and
she might even do the same for you.

39) SQUASHING HER.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too
heavily, she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER.
Never thank a woman for having sex with you.Your bedroom is not a soup
kitchen.

10 Rules of Anal Sex by Jack Morin

       

      Jack Morin, PhD, a San Francisco sex therapist and researcher, is the author of Anal Pleasure and Health.

      Anal Eroticism is surrounded by a powerful taboo. Yet millions of men and women - straight, gay and bisexual - are

      experimenting with anal sex. The anus, richly endowed with nerve endings and interconnected with the main pelvic

      muscles, is the closest erogenous neighbor of the genitals and contracts rhythmically during orgasm. Thirty-five years

      ago, Kinsey stated that the anal region had erotic significance for about half of the population. In a survey of 100,000

      Playboy readers, 47 percent of the men and 61 percent of the women admitted to having tried anal intercourse.

      Yet the anal taboo inhibits most people from thinking, talking and learning about the sexual use of the anus. Listed here

      are the ten things most men and women still do not know about anal sex.

      1. Anal intercourse is the least practiced form of anal sex.

      There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. The most common techniques include touching the anal opening while

      masturbating or stimulating a partner's anus during intercourse or oral sex.

      Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger - their own or a lover's - insinuated into their anal opening and gently

      rotated. Others may prefer the insertion of a dildo or vibrator beyond the anal opening and short anal canal into the

      larger rectum. Many men, including heterosexuals, prefer this form of penetration.

      Oral-anal lovemaking is popularly known as rimming. The very idea disgusts some people. Others enjoy performing it

      or allowing themselves to be probed in this special way.

      2. Anal stimulation, including intercourse, is not painful if done properly.

      The belief that anal stimulation, especially intercourse, has to hurt is a persistent and dangerous myth. Just as pain

      anywhere in the body indicates that something is wrong, so is the same true of the anal area. With its high concentration

      of nerve endings, the anus can produce extreme agony when it is mistreated. Yet it can be a source of great pleasure.

      When a finger, object or penis is introduced into the anus, the anal muscles go into spasm, as if fighting off an invasion.

      Pain will result if the partners do not wait for these muscles to relax. Under sufficient stress they will eventually collapse

      and the pain subside, unless further damage is done. But, any 'pleasure' afforded from this kind of activity derives mostly

      from the absence of discomfort.

      Maximum anal pleasure requires the elimination of all pain or physical trauma from the anal experience. Self-protection

      on the part of the passive partner involves being ready to say "no" until he or she is ready to proceed. Readiness is a

      combination of physical relaxation, usually helped along by plenty of leisurely anal touching, and desire.

      Occasionally the anal muscles are relaxes, but the passive partner is still not in the mood. Stimulation should mount only

      in proportion to the degree of receptivity.

      3. Anal sex can be enjoyed even if it has been consistently uncomfortable in the past.

      Sufficient desire alone does not necessarily guarantee pleasurable anal sex. Nor is an uncomfortable previous

      experience always the reason for a lack of interest in or desire for anal sex.

      Chronic anal tension is the most common cause of anal discomfort during sex. Hemorrhoids and constipation are usually

      a sign of this condition. Tension can be relieved by touching the anus and becoming more familiar with it. An ideal time

      to explore the anal opening is while taking a shower or bath. Deep breathing also affects the anal muscles. Tensing the

      anus and the letting go in another way of learning to relax it. Anyone who enjoys masturbation might want to experiment

      with some form of anal stimulation, though he or she should stop if any discomfort occurs.

      For many people the turning point in anal sex is when they allow a partner to massage the anus with the understanding

      that intercourse will not be attempted. Then the recipient of anal caresses can concentrate solely on the pleasure that this

      erogenous zone is capable of generating.

      4. Two muscle rings called sphincters surround the anal opening. Each functions independently.

      If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your anus and press your fingertip against the side, you can clearly feel the

      two sphincter muscles. There is less than a quarter-inch between them. The external sphincter is controlled by the

      central nervous system - just like the muscles of the hand, for example. You can readily tense and relax this sphincter

      whenever you want.

      The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is controlled by the involuntary or autonomic part of the nervous

      system, which governs such functions as heartbeat and stress response.

      The internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety during anal sex. It will cause the anus to tense up

      automatically even if the passive partner is trying to relax. Thus, precautions about safety and comfort are essential here.

      Even if a person does feel comfortable during anal sex, he or she may still need to learn voluntary control over his or her

      internal sphincter in order to relax it at will. Doing so requires regularly inserting a finger, perhaps in the shower each

      day, and feeling the internal sphincter. The muscle changes spontaneously and in response to behavior. In this instance,

      simply paying attention is more important than trying to relax. Anyone can gradually learn to control the internal

      sphincter at will.

      5. Anal stimulation provides many kinds of pleasure

      The highest concentration of nerve endings is around the anal opening itself. A finger can focus on them especially

      effectively. When an object or penis is inserted beyond the anal opening into the rectum, other pleasures are involved.

      The outer portion of the rectum, like the vagina, has several nerve endings. The inner portion responds mostly to

      pressure.

      Some people enjoy the feelings of pressure and fullness once they understand that these sensations do not presage an

      impending bowel movement. Rectal pressure is especially important to enthusiasts of "fisting," a form of anal sex in

      which several fingers or even the entire hand and forearm are inserted into the rectum and sometimes into the lower

      colon.

      In men, the prostate - which is just beyond the rectal wall, a few inches in, towards the front of the body - can be a

      source of pleasure when massaged by a finger, an object, or a penis. Also, the lower end of the penis, or "bulb," is near

      the anal opening opening. It is stimulated indirectly by most types of anal sex.

      Anal pleasure can be psychological as well as physical. The anal taboo adds to the thrill of the forbidden. The most

      common anti-anal message (it's dirty!) sometimes returns as a source of raunchy, sleazy excitement. Rimming enthusiasts

      may enjoy the feeling that they are being disgustingly - and delightfully - perverse. Other people regard the anus as a

      secret, special place. Sharing it with a partner is an act of openness and giving.

      6. Anal stimulation can lead to orgasm

      A minority of men and women can respond orgasmically to anal sex without direct genital stimulation. Women probably

      do so through pelvic muscle contractions - and a small minority even though the sheer excitement of being anally

      penetrated. When men experience an orgasm from anal stimulation, they tend to focus on the prostate. No doubt they

      are also responding to indirect stimulation of the penile bulb.

      Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to occur when the participants become thoroughly absorbed in their

      sensations and fantasies. An almost certain way to prevent such an orgasm is to be become determined to have one.

      Seeking an anal orgasm will create new pressures and disrupt the pleasure.

      It must be remembered that most people require direct genital stimulation in order to climax. On the other hand, a few

      people have orgasms only with anal stimulation.

      7. Diet contributes to the enjoyment of anal sex

      Regular bowel movements are the major function of the anus and rectum. There must be sufficient fiber in a person's

      diet to make his or her feces soft, bulky and well formed. This allows a bowel movement to be produced without force

      or effort. Forced evacuations irritate anal tissues, causing discomfort and adding to muscular tensions. Fresh fruits,

      vegetables, whole grains or unprocessed bran are important sources of fiber.

      8. Different rules of hygiene apply to the vagina and rectum

      Since intercourse can be vaginal or rectal, many people assume the the same rules apply for the penetration of the

      vagina and rectum. Although both are lined with soft tissue and are capable of expanding, they are radically dissimilar.

      The rectum is not straight. After the short anal canal which connects the anal opening to the rectum, the rectum tilts

      toward the front of the body. A few inches in, it curves back - sometimes as much as 90 degrees. Then, after a few

      more inches, it swoops toward the front of the body once again. A person can learn about the shape of his or her

      rectum by gently inserting a soft object, trying different angles and body positions and concentrating on how it feels.

      Make sure the object has a flared base so that if you loose your grip, it won't slip into the rectum and become

      irretrievable.

      The rectum does not produce lubrication like the vagina but only a small amount of mucus. Therefore, rectal penetration

      always requires a lubricant. Chemical additives should be avoided. Water-based lubricants are latex-compatible.

      The main function of the rectum is to act as a passageway for feces. But feces are not normally stored in the rectum

      except just prior to a bowel movement. Yet small amounts may remain in the rectum, especially if the feces are not well

      formed. Anal douching before lovemaking will help some people especially concerned with cleanliness to relax. For

      others the idea of dirtiness heightens the joy of the forbidden; for them, douching is anti-erotic.

      9. Anal intercourse is not necessarily an act of dominance and submission.

      The top-bottom imagery associated with anal intercourse is widespread. No doubt the belief that anal sex has to hurt

      contributes to this notion. And in fact some people are intensely excited by top-bottom fantasies about anal sex. The

      thought that they are submitting to such a degrading act is a terrific thrill. However, actual, not fantasized, anal pain can

      lead to trouble.

      For others, the enjoyment of anal sex is inhibited by top-bottom imagery. The idea of surrendering control, and perhaps

      submitting to humiliation, causes immediate, protective tensing of the anal muscles. These individuals are more likely to

      relax and enjoy themselves if they can learn to regard anal sex as pleasurable rather than as an expression of power.

      10. Anal sex can be perfectly safe, even beneficial.

      The taboo against anal eroticism is perpetuated by the almost universal belief among physicians that anal sex is inevitably

      dangerous. No physical injury from anal stimulation results if both partners refuse to tolerate pain, never use force and

      avoid the use of drugs.

      All the other risks center on sexually transmitted diseases. Each of the common STDs - gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes -

      can affect the anus. Intestinal parasites, bacteria or tiny bugs are usually passed along when fecal matter finds its way

      into someone's mouth or vagina, most likely through rimming.

      AIDS has complicated the matter. The HIV virus can pass from the semen or blood of an infected person to the

      bloodstream of a partner through a tiny break in the rectal tissue during anal intercourse.

      To avoid this risk, anal intercourse and rimming should not be practiced casually. Those who do enjoy anal intercourse

      should always use a condom. Rimming should always be accomplished by a latex barrier. Of course, in a monogamous

      relationship with two healthy people, the risk of disease transmitted anally is reduced.

      Thousands of men and women with chronic anal medical problems have restored their anal health by challenging their

      negative attitudes. This approach is indispensable for full erotic enjoyment of the anus.